Origins (inspired by JuDonn's TFA Diversity session)

O Leilani ko’u inoa, and I come from the ones forgotten

                            The ones who tried to forget

                    And the ones who savagely erased. 

 I come from those

                    whose bloodline dates back to  Maui and the Big Island

                Proud people with shark aumakuas,

          and stewards of ancient Hawaiian homelands

                  dotted with verdant greens from where echoes

        of mele and pule resonate like the drumbeats

                and heartbeats pulsing through history’s bones

        and coursing through my existence. 

But now I come from the chiefs of Wall Street

           tyrants whose eyes are closed and who foreclose

                          generations-old homes where grandmothers in slippahs and curlers

            stand over the stove that fill four walls with the scent of 

kalua cabbage, lau lau, and loco moco. 

             Love. For Sale.

Osiyo 

                  I am from Ahawi, half of whose bloodline

walked on at Fort Knox during Nunna Daul Isunyi

              In this Trail of Needless Tears that spans from one generation to the other to the other to the other to the other, my bloodline became another--

deemed the other.

              Trickled down through the years,

              I am from the one who was stolen from the wide open spaces of the rez and into closed doors and suffocating walls of  boarding schools by missionaries who believe in the salvation of savages through a god who picks selectively the worthy through a singular word supposedly written in stone

                        I am from the one whose Native tongue is silenced because he wants to be a human being, not a savage

                    I am borne from the genocide of a people who existed long before time had a name

but now invisible and forced to prove their existence by a government who wants us to check one box this box what...categorization

all for federal dollars and recognition

and my shame...

                For I am also from the ones who savaged and ravaged and pillaged

It is my self-imposed and inherited  shame, my dishonour, my brokenness that

Coursing through my veins is the echo of colonization and subjugation, 

I 

am also 

from those

who came to these lands on white-washed ships, bearing promises of salvation draped as blankets riddled with diseases. 

                                 I am from the borderlands of shame and pride,

                                             of hope and despair

Of being too much of different races and identities,

yet never enough of one

I am from “what are you?” and “if you had your father’s hazel eyes and your mother’s rosy skin, you would be beautiful” and racial ambiguity

                    I am from “Is Leilani an Arabic name?” post-911

                             “Are you Mexican?” post-Dream Act

I find it hard

To fully belong in a place other than the one I call my own

Mestizaness hapaness mixed-bloodedness

I belong to many tribes but at times feel alone in this

struggle to make sense of contradiction and duality

But still I try to navigate through these mazes in the hazes of faces layered across places and time

I am from the ones forgotten,

and so I remember

I am from the ones who tried to forget

and so I speak

I am from the ones who tried to erase

And so I see

I am from the Trail of Broken Treaties and annexations of a kingdom,

And so I stand here today and I speak

because though I come from history,

I am today,

eyes full of intent

shoulders straight

soul intact

heart full of hope and strength and fight

I am here

My people live on

Oye

WE NEVER VANISHED

Quote of the Week

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation and is but a reflection of human frailty.

                                                                                 Albert Einstein

Quote of the Week

Source

Source


I want to be remembered as the person who helped us restore faith in ourselves. 

--Wilma Mankiller, (former) Chief of the Cherokee Nation 

Micro-loans Available Through Cherokee Nation Program

Cherokee Nation News Release
(918) 453-5378 FAX (918) 458-6181
Cherokee Nation Director of Communications@cherokee.org
© Cherokee Nation - All Rights Reserved

Source Sometimes a small boost is all that’s needed to get a business underway or to help get credit on the right track. That’s the premise behind some of the small business loan programs available now through the Cherokee Nation. The tribe’s Small Business Assistance Center, located at 17675 S. Muskogee Ave., in Room 105, is now taking applications for micro-loans to help start up a new small business or to improve an existing one, by adding new materials, work tools or merchandise. Credit-builder loans start with amounts as small as $100 and are geared towards artists and home-based businesses. Other types of micro-loans are available as well. Small business owners or would-be entrepreneurs can get the ball rolling by meeting with one of the SBAC’s business coaches. The borrower must work with the coach to develop a business plan and will be required to attend a business planning workshop before the loan is submitted for approval. Interested parties may also simply attend an informational workshop hosted by the SBAC to see whether a micro-loan is right for their business. Dates and locations for upcoming workshops include:      Collinsville— Monday, Aug. 30, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at 1323 W. Broadway St.       Kansas, Okla.—Wednesday, Sept. 1, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Northeast Technology    Center, 450 N. Highway 59       Bartlesville— Friday, Sept. 3 from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. at 1003 S. Virginia Ave. To participate in the micro-loan programs, applicants must be a citizen of a federally recognized tribe and must live within the Cherokee Nation’s 14-county jurisdictional area. Other eligibility criteria may apply, depending on the specific program. For more information please contact Veronica Hix at (918) 207-3955 or e-mail veronica-hix@cherokee.org.

Gratitude

I am THANKFUL for: 

My Momma, who is the greatest love in my life. Seriously, I think Unehana/God was really being awesome the day S/He assigned mommas to kiddies; S/He gave me to her ;o) Can there ever be a love so visceral and so selfless than the one a mother has for her child? She may not agree with how I'm putting graduate school on hold to move to Turkey, but she understands that I need to find myself first. When all's been said and done, my momma is one of my best friends and I love her more than life itself. 

JC and RS, my soul mates. Calling them 'best friends' or 'sisters' seems so shallow, because they're so much more that that. They're the type of friends you can call at 3 A.M. or 3 P.M. and would go to bat for you when someone says an unkind word to/at you. They are fellow humanitarians--kind, generous, loving, strong--and through their deeds, renews my faith in the goodness of man.

BG, my best guy friend / Irish brotha ;o) He's the only man I would go into a fight for, if ever some woman broke his heart. He's a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and breaks bricks for fun, but he's also the gentlest man I know. With him, I feel 100% safe, because I know nothing could ever hurt me while he's around.  

My Native Ancestors, who taught me that we are not owners of the land, but rather, its stewards. I am grateful that even though policies have been enacted to rid AmerIndians and Hawaiians of our lands, language, cultures, religions, traditions, and lives, WE ARE STILL HERE. Man-made policies and tyrants may attempt to take away our freedom, but never take away our dignity and humanity. Nunna daul isunyi--The Trail Where We Cried--is THE PATH WHERE WE PERSEVERE. 

Being an American. Although it has its inequities and  I do not completely agree with my country's policies on war, immigration, and the current healthcare system, I am blessed to be a citizen of a country that is truly a global salad. The U.S.A. is not a Melting Pot, because that would imply that all the ingredients have to meld and lose their individual flavours in order to become a dish with one distinct taste. No, my country is a salad that allows individuals to retain their individual flavours and colours, while being a part of a unified dish. 

Having graduated from an awesome university (and currently 'taking some time off from graduate school'). Education is a luxury that some--if not most--people could only dream about. 

The fact that I am moving to Istanbul in a month! After a major postponement for a pesky health issue, it's finally happening ;o) Maybe I'll love it there or maybe I'll hate it, but this is an adventure I cannot wait to take. Life is an exploration, evet? 

The fact that I am NOT a Turkey 

 BEING ALIVE 

The Bloodline the Tsalagi Will NEVER Vanish

A video I made as an undergrad for a class on protest
literature.

The Shadow Dancer Retrieves Herself

The storytelling tradition is one of the many cherished shards that that make up the rich mosaic of my heritage. I’ve been blessed to know those who came before me and have been afforded the chance to be an active participant in the continuation of the old ways. My yewyah (grandma) is definitely a master storyteller, and some of my keenest memories as a child were that of sitting at her knee, and listening to her recount the tales of diwatas, sirenas, agta…otherworldly beings that while seemingly whimsical at first hear, are really an observation of the nature of man and the world he inhabits. Fate. Destiny. Choice.

I don’t think I really appreciated the significance of folklore until much later, when I was in the throes of that inevitable “finding yourself” stage. Truth be told, as soon as I grew out of the Disney princess stage, I began to examine folklore from a harsh academic’s eyes. I was that type of academic who believed in proof and abided by statistics and probabilities rather than simply believing. In other words, I was a jaded government concentrator who believed that everything worth something must hold up well to scrutiny. I saw folklore, culture, and traditions as scholarly things, rather than as living things that are a part of people…and in turn, are shaped by people and their beliefs to help form their identity.

That all changed when I had to fulfill some of my core requirements outside my concentration. One of the requirements for that course was to compile a folklore collection by interviewing people. I first approached the assignment with a grain of salt; I figured I could just talk to some of my family and friends and type everything verbatim. Easy enough. What I didn’t expect was for the assignment to put into words and bring back into being the dormant native child that I once was. As I collected creation myths, tales of the first pineapple, and the like, I began to realize that I didn’t need to find myself; I just needed to retrieve myself.