Something comes up like bubbles to the surface, bringing up another part of ourselves that has been silent; that we were in the dark about. Lurking. Nightmares aren't my favorite thing. I want to feel safe, period. My soul wants to feel safe not terrorized. For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions and basically just express herself. I made a conscious choice when I put 'Me and a Gun' on the record not to stay a victim anymore. The last thing I want to be known as is 'The Girl Who Got Raped'. The big turn around you make in your head is from victim to survivor. It's about realizing, painfully, you've kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer has changed faces. You realize you've become your own jailer. The idea is to rescue myself from the role of a victim. That I have a choice left. Though I can't change what has happened, I can choose how to react. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life being bitter and locked up. I think you have to know who you are, get to know the monster that lives in your soul, dive deep into your soul and explore it. I see the dream and I see the nightmare, and I believe you can't have the dream without the nightmare. I think that the nightmares are telling me things about myself that I need to know. And I try to understand what they mean, so I can get to know something more about my soul. I am finding that vulnerability gives me great strength, because you're not hiding anymore.
--Tori Amos
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